The moon really is made of cheese....

After all this time, the good o'l boys at Google have finally put to rest the age old debate of what the moon is really made of.

Click on the link below and set to maximum zoom.

Google Moon - Lunar Landing Sites

The Real Highway Code

Found this fantastic flash cartoon by a guy called Bruno Bozetti. Anyone who has ever driven in Malaysia, or for that matter China, Vietnam, Italy..... will have probably seen every move he illustrates many times over.

Takes a little time to load, but it's worth it.... Yes No

Aaah, was finally able to get back in the water this week.

With the wife and daughter over in the UK visiting family, I decided to lessen the pain of missing them, with a couple of days diving in Tioman... and I must say it certainly helped. Only kidding darling, but it was good to be back in the bath water, that is the South China sea (average temperature - 29°C, nice!)

Was joined by a friend (dive instructor) and his wife (open water, but didn't dive). It was their 1st trip to the island by one of the available speed boats and, whilst the journey over was like crossing a skating rink, the trip back was the journey from hell.

Being a regular vistor, I've had some bad trips before (that's boat trips, not drug trips!) and this was right up there with the worst. The boat is pretty small and, unfortunately, the waves were very large. The usual 1hr crossing took more than 2. At least 6 people around us were 'feeding the fish' (vomiting) within 30 minutes of leaving and to make it worse, all the windows had to be shut, due to the water spray - this on a boat without any form of air-con. You get the picture.

Somehow I think the next trip, will be by the much larger and more stable ferry.

Man dies at hooves of unaccommodating cow

Tragic, but priceless, story from Cambodia. Sorry, but you have to laugh at the police comment in the last paragraph.....

"An unsuccessful sexual advance by an elderly Cambodian man on a young heifer ended badly when the bovine fought back, kicking him to death, local media quoted police and villagers as saying on Thursday.

Khmer-language daily Kampuchea Thmey quoted authorities as saying that Ta Sam, 67, of south-western Svay Rieng province had been divorced for just 10 days when his urges apparently overcame him in the middle of the night with tragic consequences.

Sounds of a scuffle caused the man's grandson to investigate, whereupon he found Sam's naked body lying under the family's frightened cow with injuries to his head and genital area consistent with being kicked by the beast, the paper reported.

Police concluded he died in a rape attempt gone wrong, the paper said.The paper quoted villagers as saying Sam had been divorced twice, with both wives citing his insatiable desires as the cause.

It added that police did not expect to take any action against the cow, which was not named, as she appeared to have been acting in self defence" !!!

Snakes in the Grass

Received a, somewhat, panicked call from the wife, whilst at work today...."Darling, can you come home, there's a snake in the garden!" Ah, the joys of living in Malaysia, certainly beats having to deal with a mouse in the house... and we're not talking an oversized worm here, this was the full monte, a 3 1/2 foot black cobra!

So, I dashed home, contemplating on the way, what exactly I was going to do when I got there - visions of tackling the snake, Steve Irwin style, sprang to mind, but were quickly replaced with visions of ending up in the local hospital (not advisable in a small town like Kluang).

As it turned out, I was beaten home by our friendly neighbourhood fire department (locally known as Bomba), whom the wife had apparently called, straight after calling me.... appears she had the same vision of me ending up in hospital, as I did!

Anyway, although my 'man ego' was somewhat bruised (but secretly relieved) by this lack of faith, I din't let it show and sat back to watch the experts deal with the beast.

Hah, I needn't have worried about my ego. After the 5 burly guys had 'ummed', 'ahhed' and, all but, drew straws to see who was going to tackle the thing, they promptly lost it into one of out garden drainage pipes. So, after 20 minutes of poking around with sticks and anything else they could find (including using our hosepipe to try and, literally, flush it out, they had a hurried discussion and promptly deciced to leave with the sage advice ' keep an eye out and if it comes back, try and corner it and give us another call'. Thanks guys.

Anyway, fingers crossed, as yet we've not had a repeat visit....from the snake, or the fire dept!

C'mon, dive in

Phew, been seriously busy this month, with commissioning the new reactors at work, so haven't had much spare time to post..... and have not had much to write about (unless you're the type to get excited about valves, pipes and reactors!). Anyway, thought I'd take the easy way out and post some of my underwater photos, instead of having to think of something interesting to write!.

Haven't been diving for more than 9 months now (yes, that does coincide with the birth of my daughter) and can't wait to get back in the water, which will hopefully be in a month's time, or so.

All the photos were taken in and around Malaysia and if you want more info on the either the photos, or diving in Malaysia, feel free to leave me a comment.

Juvenile Yellow Boxfish - my favourite photo and also my favourite fish. These guys just don't look like they should be in the water, especially when you see them swimming, but it's always a pleasure to come across them on a dive (only the juveniles are yellow, when the reach adulthood they actually change to a, not so cute, brown colour).




What a wreck! - if you've read some of my earlier posts, you'll know that Malaysia is notorious for it's careless driving, but this takes the biscuit (to see what I mean click here). Actually, this is an attempt at creating an artificial reef, on on of the small islands surrounding Tioman Island, in Malaysia, but is always good fun to visit on a dive.

Finding Nemo - yep, the obligatory, nemo, or clown anenome, photo. Actually these are really hard to shoot as they are always on the move and seem to have some fishy sixth sense about the exact moment you press the shutter. For every 1 respectable nemo shot, I must trash 20+ shots of anenome and no fish, or his blurred backside as he dives for cover.

Green Turtle with Remora - this was taken on Redang Island, where we dived with a true diving 'god' - aka AB, who runs a dive shop at the Redang Kalong resort. This guy is a Master Instructor, who has been diving Redang for 20 yrs and knows everything you need to know (and a lot, you didn't even know you needed to know) about diving and, especially, underwater photography.

Anyway, hope you like my photos - I don't claim to be a professional (or even a respectable amateur) in any way, shape, or form - so please no critique, but if you want to see more of the above then click here.

Haiku for Dummies....

In Japan, they have, apparently, replaced the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft error messages with Haiku poetry messages.

Haiku poetry has strict construction rules -- each poem has only 17 syllables....5 syllables in the first, 7in the second, 5 in the third. They are used to communicate a timeless message, often achieving wistful, yearning and powerful insight through extreme brevity.

Here are 16 actual error messages from Japan:

The Web site you seek
Cannot be located,
but Countless more exist.

Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.

Program aborting:
Close all that you have worked on.
You ask far too much.

Windows XP crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.

Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.

Your file was so big.
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.

Stay the patient course.
Of little worth is your ire.
The network is down.

A crash reduces
Your expensive computer
To a simple stone.

Death, taxes and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.

You step in the stream,
But the water has moved on.
This page is not here.

Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.

Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.

Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.


Certainly beats: "Your computer has performed an illegal operation"

When I first came out to Malaysia I was quickly introduced to the three main local dialects; Bahasa Malayu (Malay), Mandarin (or Cantonese if you are up in KL) and Manglish.

What is Manglish, I hear you ask? Well it is best described as a mixture of Malay and English, with a generous sprinkling of Chinese, thrown in for good measure. Not sure what I mean?

Here’s an example of a typical conversation…

Ok lah, let’s makan and then you can send me back. Can or not?
Can lah.
Did you remember to off the lights?
Ayo, I die already. Sorry, lah, I a bit blur.
You ah. I swear, I pengsang already. You very bodoh mah.

Literal Translation…

Let us go and eat and then, if it’s no trouble, could you give me a lift home?
Of course I can.
Did you remember to turn the lights off?
Oh dear, I’m in trouble. I’m sorry, I’m a little forgetful at times.
Honestly, one day you’ll make me faint. You are stupid sometimes.

Now you may think that sounds ridiculous….and you’d be right, but, trust me, after a couple of months of living here, you find yourself speaking as well (or should that be as badly) as the locals, which, for me, was good, for after 3 years here, I have to, embarrassingly, admit to knowing the merest of Bahasa ……and I had to resort to marrying a local, to learn, the most very basic of Mandarin!

Anyway, here are some of the more commonly used Manglish phrases.....

  Word              Meaning                                     Example


Action            show-offy                                "Look at him, he very action."

Ah                  Used as exclamation                 "Why is he like that ah?"
                                                                         "My brother ah, always disturb me"
Blur               Confused, out-of-it.                    "I a bit blur, mah."

Got                substituted for the                      "I got already"
                       English verb 'to have'                 "Got or not?"

Die/finish      Generic exclamations                "Ayo, I die already,
                      to indicate trouble                       I missed the deadline".

Disturb         To pester/tease                          "My brother ah, always
                     someone                                      disturb me"

ing                Any Malay word + ‘ing’               "Are we makan-ing later?"
                     doing a certain action                  (are we eating later?)

(to) Jalan      Malay word for street,                "you want to take a cab,
                     used to describe going                 or shall we jalan"
                     for a walk.

Kia Siew      someone who’s materialistic.        "Ayo, look at his new car,
                     Similar to the ‘keeping up                he very kia siew, lah"
                     up with the Jones’ syndrome.

kena              to get caught/punished.               "I sure kena if I cheat"

lah                Used to affirm a statement            "Don't be an idiot lah!"
                     (similar to ‘of course’).

liao               Means ‘already’. Derived               "No more stock liao."
                     from Chinese.

lor                Used at the end of sentences.         "Like that lor!"
                     Used when explaining something.

makan          From the Malay for ‘eat’.                   "What do you want to makan
                                                                              tonight?"

On/off           to turn something on or off.             "Don't forget to off the fan."

one               Used as an emphasis at the             "Why is he so naughty one?"
                      end of a sentence.

outstation    To travel outside of your                     I’m going outstation this weekend.
                      home town

Alien with arms wide open

Perhaps they are amongst us already....

Took this photo in the garden today and only realised, after downloading, how much it resembled an alien with it's arms open....it was just then that I also realised that I had no recollection of the last 3 hours and that, now I thought about it, that new pimple on my forehead, did, in fact, look more like a puncture wound. AAAGGH!

Beetle

.....and here we another one of those strange critters that visit our garden, here in Kluang...

New Zealand fishermen catch rare squid - Yahoo! News

Wow! Not just a giant, but a COLOSSAL squid is finally brought up from the depths. A true denizen of the deep. Who knows what else there is down there?



New Zealand fishermen catch rare squid - Yahoo! News

You're Driving Me Crazy

They're still at it...we are into the 10th day of Ops Sikap (aimed at reducing road accidents during the festive season) and, for today, a total of 1,000 accidents and 12 deaths were recorded. This brings the total deaths since the operation started, on Feb 11th, to 151!

To give you some idea of scale, the population here is one third the size of the UK, at around 22 million, yet the accident rate is around 3 times higher!!


This might explain why....

My Prayers Are (almost) Answered

Now, I am the first to admit that, where religion, superstition and the supernatural are concernced, I am a raging sceptic. However, after the in-laws returned from prayers, on New Year Eve, I was presented with my own 'red packet', which had been dutifully collected, on my behalf, from the temple's 'God of Wealth' (o.k. so it was a man dressed as the God of Wealth, a bit like the 'Father Christmas' you get at the shopping mall). Anyway, inside, the packet contained a 20 sen coin and my 4-digit 'lucky' number, so, the next day, I obligingly placed the numbers on the lottery and 'bingo' the numbers came up 4th prize and I was instantly 140 ringett (around £20) the richer (who says's mother-in-laws are all bad!).

Now, whilst, 4th place and 20 quid is impressive and for which I say 'thank you wealth god', it's not quite enough to shake my long-standing scepticism, so I have told him that, if he can come up with the 1st prize numbers for next week, I am prepared to renounce my lack of faith and become his most faithful servant! Watch this space.

Chinese New Year - The Year of the Pig

Gong Xi Fa Cai (Congratulations and be prosperous)

It's that time of the year again, Chinese New Year (locally known as CNY), when the country grinds to a halt for a week, everybody gorges on yee sang, bak kwa and pineapple tarts and a whole lot of gambling and 'yam sing' is performed. For us, it was a quiter affair than usual, this year, with the passing away of the wife's grandfather a few days before CNY. Even so, we had plenty to eat and drink and still managed to prise a few ringett from the relatives whilst playing cards (even a death in the family doesn't come between a man and the opportunity to gamble, over here!).

A Dummy's Guide To CNY:

I won't bore you with the history and customs involved in Chinese New Year, because I don't know them!, but if you genuinely interested, you can take a look here. That said, here is my quick 'expat' guide to CNY:

1. The actual celebrations last 15 days, although the first 3 are the most important as far as eating, drinking and gambling are concernced, so make sure you take these as holiday and enjoy.

2. If you are married you need to give out ang pow. If you're single you can receive (including adults), so, stay single as long as you can! it also seems that the Chinese like big families (in my wifes family there are 7 aunts on the mothers side, 7 brothers on the fathers side, countless cousins and children of cousins...thats a lot of ang pow!

3. Be prepared to eat LOTS of oranges. It's a big part of the custom and they are bought and given out, several boxes at a time.

4. Fireworks are prohibited by law, but don't let that fool you, you will still hear the sound of endless firecrackers going off at midnight each night. Not that this will affect you as you will still be up taking full advantage of point 1.

Backyard Critters...

A few days off with Chinese New Year this week, so took a bit of time out to practise my macro shooting (and I need all the practise I can get!). Anyway, see what you think....

25 deaths on first day of Ops Sikap

Here we go again, Chinese New Year is here, it's holiday season and the favoured Malaysian hobby of driving like a complete lunatic starts once again.....

25 deaths on first day of Ops Sikap:
Inspector General of Police Tan Sri Musa Hassan was is saddened by the 25 road fatalities on the first day of Ops Sikap XII.
“Even during Ops Sikap, there are so many deaths. It means something is wrong with our drivers. They need to change their attitude,” he said.

In total 921 accidents were reported and 10,561 summonses were issued for traffic offences on the first day alone!

Not suprisingly, the stats show that 85% of the accidents involve motorcyclists. If you've ever driven in Malaysia you'll know exactly why that is. If you haven't and you want to see what I mean Click Here (not for those with a nervous disposition!) ......

A little playing with Photoshop

Backyard Critters

It's amazing what you can find lurking in the graden if you look hard enough...

Looking for a day out

Looking for somewhere a little different to visit in Malaysia? You could head for the Kuala Gandah Elephant Sanctuary. I won't go into too much detail here - You can click on the link to read the site 'blurb' - but have to say that my 12yr old son and I had a great time bathing and feeding, both the adult and baby elephants (for which, I think, the word cute was actually invented!)....and to top it all off it's completely free - all they ask is that you give a donation of your own choosing, though, pleasingly, this is not done in a pushy way.

And you thought your car was a wreck...

Not your usual dive wreck and a bit of an extreme way of avioding a parking ticket! This was taken whilst diving off Tumuk reef, on the island of Tioman, Malaysia.

Couldn't quite make out the make & model (open to suggestions), though it could be a Corvette Stingray?

Creature Comforts

Another couple of our cuddly local residents. The 1st guy was found sunbathing on my garden table. The 2nd guy was taken on Gunung Lambak, our local mountain, although at 500m it's more of a hill with attitude!

Wasp

Wasp
Originally uploaded by gwylow71.

My most popular Flickr photo to date. Currently 59,000 views and counting... mind you I think 58,800 of these were thanks to the photo being digged, but heh, nice to know you're appreciated!

Another Sleepless Night (Part II)

Yep, another night, another trial to watch. This is making a serious drain on my (mental) health and believe me, there wasn't too much water in the bowl to start with! Ah well, at least gives me an excuse for some 'quality internet time'.

Here's some more photos with my new close up filters.

Moth(er) Nature

Moth?
Originally uploaded by gwylow71.

Found this guy (girl) sitting on an aluminium flask in my garden. He, kindly, hung around long enough for me to try out my new close-up filter (poor man's macro lens) and if you're wondering why he's stood on 'tiptoes', it's because it was 33°C at the time...and probably close to 50° on the surface of the flask! This probably explains why he hung around so long in the 1st place...if you look closely you can see his feet melting!

Anyone know what knid of moth this is? Feel free to drop me a comment.

Headlines.... Kluang finally gets a mall. It's been 3 years in the making, but the new Kluang Parade is now open for business, bowling alley, cinema and all! Sadly, no sign of a Coffee Bean, Secret Recipe, or MPH yet, though the shop units are still less than half filled, so there's still hope.

Other News.... Took advantage of a rare weekend at home. Bought some new plants for the garden, including a small orange bush (my contribution to Chinese New Year). No sign of rain for over a week now. Can't believe that after the recent floods, we are already being told to prepare for drought and water rationing!

Another Sleepless Night

Another loooong shift at work and another night spent babysitting reactions....must be better ways to earn a living (all offers considered)!

Chloe had 1st real laugh today. Sad to say it wasn't from one of my jokes, but I'm sure it's just a matter of time, hehe.